The Battle Inside of Me

“Where is your generosity, Lord? Why did You do to me what You did to Job? Will I never have another chance in this life? Give me one more opportunity!”

He got up, opened the Bible at random, as he usually did when he was searching for an answer, and he came upon the passage during the Last Supper when Christ tells the traitor to hand Him over to the Roman soldiers looking for him. The priest spent hours thinking what he had just read: why did Jesus ask the traitor to commit a sin? “So that the scriptures would be fulfilled,” the wise men of the church would say. Even so, why was Jesus was asking someone to commit a sin and thus leading him to eternal damnation? Jesus would never do that; in truth, the traitor was merely a victim, as Jesus himself was. Evil had to manifest itself and fulfill its role, so that ultimately Good could prevail. If there was no betrayal, there could be no cross, the words of the Scriptures would not be fulfilled, and Jesus sacrifice could not serve as an example. “Evil needs to manifest itself, for them to understand the value of Good.”

quoted from Paulo Coelho’s “The Devil and Ms Prym”

The passage really struck me in the face, the same thing I did every time I’m searching for an answer and the same question that never ceases to fascinate me was asked “Why did Jesus ask Judas to do such a thing?” Although I did not totally agree with the answer suggested by the author but he successfully keep my heads up at the ceiling trying to contemplate the necessity of the situation. But one thing I learn, Evil needs to manifest itself, for me to understand the value of Good. For by nature I am evil but by the grace of God I became good. Deep inside my restless heart lays a waging battle between evil and good. I know I can’t flee from the enemy but I can resist it. I know I can’t resist temptation but I can flee from it. No matter how evil I am, the Blood of the Lamb is enough. Now the Light is slowly overshadowing the darkness that I was once where. Now I can confidently smile over temptations and circumstances that threaten my faith. It was all by the grace that God hath spread.

Keep the faith, no matter what. Fight the good fight, it is all worth it.

Of Being Wise on "April Fool"

April will always be a special month for me. Boy, there’s a lot of reason for me to summarize in just one entry. And no, it’s not about the woofy goofy puppy love that until now I can’t get over with or any scrapbook worthy experience that I can remember. Neither April is my birth month since I was born one gloomy September afternoon. And it could never be an anniversary of something special since I am not married yet. Although April happens to be the month before my Mom’s birthday which I also consider special but then again it’s something deeper than that.

Incidentally, April was actually the month the world celebrate human foolishness. The “April Fool” month they called. The month I found out how foolish I am and then consider it a wise realization. The month I embrace new perspective and throw away the old one.

The month I consider special.

Okay, it is not what you’re thinking right now. And I’m no April fool or whatever. It’s the month I take Christianity on a whole new level. Consider it foolishness or something to that effect but that’s the way it is.

Hello, I’m not planning to follow Mother Teresa neither aiming for sainthood or whatever. I was just trying to live to its certain expectation. I’m not perfect I admit although I’m trying to be one and sin is still an issue that I’m having a hard time to understand.

April will always remind me of a new life and a new birth, of redemption and deliverance, of His unfailing love and abiding grace. And I will always believe, hope, trust and love because of Him.