Jealous Conversation

I love talking to my cousin through YM during my lazy Saturday afternoon or when I find it a sufficient excuse in not doing my laundry after my Sunday rituals. Yes you heard it right; I do my laundry most of the time. But I don’t want to talk about it. It’s my cousin’s amusing way of conversation. She just makes every boring topic a little interesting. We literally talk about almost everything from her boyfriend’s soiled blue-shirt to her hairy “askal” puppy. It seems every topic is worthy of an Oprah Winfrey show even if it doesn’t make any sense at all. Laughs!

Yesterday we had an interesting conversation turn argument that took almost two hours. This time it wasn’t about her “askal” puppy neither her boyfriend but it was something a little personal and quite alarming. It was about her cat’s jealousy to her puppy. By the way she has a 2-month old cat I teasingly called “hello-kitty”. She found the cat abandoned in front of their gate very dirty so she took care of it. It was so cute and cuddly at first but after few weeks it become so violent that it pushes her puppy away with its sharp fingernail. Maybe animals get jealous too, she told me. Huh? Why would they be jealous and why the hell you’re being bothered by that cat. Weather it’s jealous or not, animals are animals. They are freaking violent in nature, I told her. But she reacts purely absurd which I don’t dare retort back. However the conversation continues with a little argument, a little high-school biology and anything in between.

I remember my mom brought my cousin to our house when I was still in my short pant playing lego that hesitation slowly crawling up my face. Hesitation of something I don’t even understand that time. I felt uncertain the moment she arrive, uncertain of my mom’s attention that she might steal away from me. No, I don’t have attention-deficit-disorder and I was never a “ksp” when I was a child.

I was actually jealous.

As a jealous little brat, I acquired that it-is-all-about-me attitude, the kind that competes for everyone’s attention. The kind that behaves violently when being threatened and cry like a baby to emotionally sabotage someone’s affection.

I became her constant adversary and I made her life miserable. But the more I pushed her the more she gets my mom’s attention, the more I get jealous.

You see, jealousy can bring the worst out of us. We may not be like the cat showing up its sharp fingernail, but our ulterior motives reveals more than that. Unless we take the extra mile to think of others than ourselves; we will still be the same person the rest of our lives. It was so funny how a simple conversation could dig out my past and reminds me today on how to live my future.

Mga Saloobin Ng Isang Gamo Gamong Alipin

Pag minalas ka nga naman, dalawang pares ng kaliwang tsinelas ang sumalubong sayo sa bughaw na langit na umiiyak pakiwari may sinasabing may bukas na naghihintay. Napaisip at namulat sa walang hanggang kalyeng kelangang lakarin patungo sa gusaling bumubuhay sa aking kamalayan bilang manggagawa. Pero isang baso ng sandok at dalawang plato ng kutsara ang nag iwan sa aking kumukulong sikmura para talikuran ang realidad ng kahapon na nagbabadyang may unos pang darating. Kung ano man yun, may pagbabagong kelangan harapin at mga bagay na di maiiwasan para madatnan ang dapat kalagyan sa tamang oras at panahon.

Umaambon, umuulan, tila walang katapusan. Luntian na araw at basang mga dahon tila parang kelan lang. Walang tigil ang unos sa pusong pahapyaw na nasasaktan. Bat' ba to nagkaganito? ito ba ang buhay? bat kba' umiiyak? bat mo ba pinipilit abutin ang mga tala na pilit lumalayo sa'yo. Dapithapon na, unti unting nabubulag ang kapaligiran patungo sa natutulog na gabi, di man lang nakausap.

Ika tatlumpot pitong gabi ng nakatitig sa teleponong walang kable, naghihintay ng sagot. Tatlong araw at isang oras ang lumipas pa, hanggang kelan ba? O maghihintay p ba? Andyan ka p ba? Nauuhaw sa isang dipang balon'g ikaw ang nagbibigay ng liwanag. Para akong isang aninong di mo nakikita't di mo napapansin. parang hangin na pilit dumadampi sa iyong mga pisnging umiiwas. Gusto kung pumasok sa puso mong kinandado ng baluktot at makitid na pag iisip. Pano b kung wala ka? May umaga pa kaya? Di ko ata kaya mabuhay sa mundong di umaaraw ah.

Alipin ka man ng pagkakataon at nakagapos sa kahapon..

Wala ka ng magagawa kundi tanggapin ang kamalasang, minsa'y sumasabay sa ikot ng buhay kaya kanta ka na lang at sumabay,

'waitin tomorrow.. there's a blue sky'

I Kissed Adsense Goodbye

My constant effort to personalize my blog has reached to a higher level. I don’t know what will happen next but I believe there’s still evolution to come. Yesterday was just a regular Blogging day for me, the sun was beaming with inspiration and the wind blows every possible stressful aura there is. I prepare my laptop, compose my mind and check my blog. Wew, another inevitable has yet to come, the changing of my blog. Laughs! How many times will I apply Darwin’s theory of Evolution to it? I think it’s becoming a law already.

After series of insightful debate happening in my mind I finally decided to kiss my adsense goodbye. And before you smack me with your violent reaction let me explain first. I know most of us are mass/volume adsense follower in fact I’m still using adsense in my other blog and desperately milking it to the most of my capacity. But putting ads in a blog that screams naive to mature political opinion, personal views and random thought is the last thing that I would do. But I will still do it, haha. Anyway I still have adsense momentum waiting to happen in my other blog. I just leave this blog a private residence of my personal idiosyncrasies about life without the adsense.

I signed up for PayPerPost

Blogging seems to be one of my positive diversions after I quit my job. So, I think of every possible ways in monetizing it. My friend suggested PayPerPost after she proves it herself and since there’s no harm in trying, why not? I check my blog if it’s worthy of PayPerPost, I change the layout, added some stuff and voila! I submit it. After two days I receive an email from them saying my blog was disapproved. Huh? They must have a very stiff quality evaluation. Laughs! I doubted my blog but I did not lose hope. I follow what they advise me to do and after my second attempt I just got in. But after two hours, yes, in just two hours I realized I don’t need “pay-per-post” for a personal blog like this. Yes I get paid but I probably lose my credibility (as if I have one,haha) I’m not against PPP or anything similar to it I would love to do it probably on a separate blog but not in here, I value my credibility so much than my need for it.

Attention Dave Matthews' Band Fan

BUY A TICKET AND GET A FREE LIVE ALBUM

Tickets for Dave Matthews Bands’ North American tour go on sale this Saturday, March 29th, and fans who purchase theirs through Ticketmaster.com will receive a special bonus: an exclusive, free digital album comprised of highlights from the 40-city tour. Each ticket purchased through Ticketmaster.com will receive a unique code in mid-September that can be redeemed for the digital album on the iTunes Store – a month before it goes on sale to the general public. Offer is valid only for venues ticketed by Ticketmaster.

Dave Matthews Band fan association members who have already purchased tickets through the Warehouse pre-sale will also receive a unique code in mid-September that will enable them to receive a free copy of the digital album via iTunes.


Dave Matthews Band

something for the yosiholic!

how wud you like your smoking lounge ceiling look this way? I didnt notice the photo, until i took a close up look at it-'twas somethin lyk your inside a coffin while puffing your cigar butt out, laughs! i hope you finish one stick while watching on that ceiling mural-showing your love ones staring at you six feet down under,haha..!

Losers and Winners

Jason Castro is "TMTH"

Yes, you heard it right, the soft-spoken Jason Castro is "too much to handle" now. Just when he's starting to bore me then he's becoming a lil' intresting. From the shirtless pics to clean-cut hair photo and on ditching orphans for "what is that organization again?" Today's American Idol elimination episode was even more "TMTH" when he's obviously freaking out. Another reason to watch Jason I guess.

Which is which?


Why making a big deal out of his being shirtless, tsk tsk..



photo courtesy of the hollywood gossip
and the bosh